Date Everything! is a chaotic relationship simulator where you’re not just dating people—you’re dating objects, animals, time periods, or abstract concepts. The game delivers wild narrative paths, absurd character types, and unexpected emotional connections, making it one of the strangest dating simulators you’ll ever play.
Unconventional Matches and Dialogue Trees
In Date Everything!, your potential partners range from a lonely lamppost to the Spirit of 1997. Each match comes with its own dialogue tree, story arc, and quirks. One moment you might be arguing with a jealous cactus, the next you’re dancing with gravity itself. The game encourages exploration of every bizarre romantic path to uncover unique endings.
- Over 40 unique characters from inanimate to existential
- Story-driven arcs based on your conversational choices
- Multiple emotional outcomes: heartbreak, fusion, eternal cosmic union
Progression Through Affection and Chaos
The game uses a unique affection meter based on how well you “understand” your partner. Some characters require flattery, while others demand philosophical alignment or even sacrifices. The more bizarre your route, the more chaotic the events become. Side quests include:
- Winning a trial in lamp court to defend your love
- Time traveling to impress a century with historical accuracy
- Translating ancient cat language for feline romance
Unlockables, Easter Eggs, and Hacks
There are multiple endings for each romance, including glitch-based ones where the game “falls in love” with you. Secret keys and dialogue combinations unlock hidden characters such as The Deleted Update or The Error Message. Special hacks include infinite charm, reversed logic trees, or randomness mode that scrambles every path on launch.
Why Date Everything! Is Worth Playing
- Inventive writing that combines comedy and surrealism
- Unpredictable scenarios that branch in dozens of directions
- Meaningful choices even in the most ridiculous conversations
Date Everything! is a bizarre but oddly compelling game that challenges the very idea of what a relationship sim can be. It blends absurd humor with oddly sincere storytelling, keeping players coming back to see what impossible match they can win next.
